my hands are tied behind the back of my addictions. a slow degeneration. a decadence into a timeless denial. a serial user, mile after mile.
hypnotized by all the wrong faces. climbing the wrong mountains. jumping into the wrong oceans. seeking providence in all the wrong places. all the wrong races. falling prey to the devil's good graces.
a dynamic character in a circular plot. tossed in a dime bag and left to rot. a fist full of promises i tripped, dropped, and broke. my lungs fill with air but my head's full of smoke. my blood's full of coke. my dreams full of demons in sinister cloaks.
i bet with my own life. i play with a hot knife. i use till i straight lose. i booze till i hit snooze. i wake with the sun and bake for the day. i flirt with a pill and roll in the hay. i crave for a smoke, for a shot, for a toke; for a sniff, for a spliff, for a bump, for a snort. single rockets. single rails. lined up like soldiers in graves. rolling Ls. burning cells. covering the paper trails.
nothing like candy to brighten my day. nothing like crank to make the pain go away. nothing's special enough to be kay. nothing makes me dance like MDMA. ABCDEFG. AMT and GHB. 2c-B and LSD. DMT. THC. ecstasy. do you see?
nothing like anger puts a damper on life. nothing like jealousy makes you hit your wife. nothing like hatred will come to a boil. nothing like guilt to hide, bottle, and coil.
walking in a mall, milling in a daze, forgetting all the world's failures. i am a person. and i'm addicted. drawn to the armageddon we've scripted. awed by the world through which i'm depicted. mad about all to which i'm restricted.
i need answers! you need dollars. i need freedom. you need borders. i need passion. i need reasons. you're in church overdosing on jesus. you're in line worried 'bout tomorrow, wallowing in pain and sorrow.
i made a promise. and i spoke it. and i broke it. and i'm happy. but it's crappy that it's over. that i'm leaving. that i'm changing. to begin again from the beginning. my hands are tied behind the back of my addictions. it's my calling. my vocation. things are boring without friction. my life is my favourite fiction.